MyFriendCleveland

Rock Hall Ceremony Announcements, Oh My!

More info has been revealed about the 2007 Rock Hall Induction Ceremony, which of course will not be held in Cleveland where the Rock Hall is, but in New York. Let’s blow another chance to actually get people to come to here. Anyway, the inductees, Van Halen, REM, Patti Smith, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, and The Ronettes have already been announced, but now we get word on just who will be introducing each of the artists. Jay-Z tops the wow scale with Eddie Vedder and Keith Richards not far behind and Zach De La Rocha and Velvet Revolver grabbing the “WTF” slot at the bottom. Does anyone even care?

Jesus Indicted on Stalking Charges

Not that Jesus! Damn you people are gullible. Lorain police officer (these guys just keep racking up the points) Jesus Sanchez was indicted on charges of forcibly kissing, making threatening phone calls, and pulling over the victim 15 to 20 times for no reason. And just what did this fabulous example of a gentleman have to say about the situation? According to The Plain Dealer, “Sanchez claimed in an affidavit that other officers had lured women to have sex with them and had stalked women. They were never disciplined, he said, and considered their actions a perk of the badge.” These are the kind of things that make me feel safer on the streets at night.

A Little More Scandal Never Hurt Anyone

Scene gives the low down on Fred Nance, a Cleveland lawyer who ranked at the top of Inside Business magazine’s “Power 100″ list. Looks like Fred ain’t exactly the perfect citizen, with much of his money coming from former mayor Mike White, including a big fat check for being legal advisor for the construction of Browns Stadium. Not exactly something most people would want on a resume. Get some more dirt.

Music That Does Not Deserve Awards

It’s always great when one of our fine weeklies cranks out an awards issue, and then we learn just how sadly out of touch they are. Well The Free Times have their music awards issue cramming newsstands this week and the results, as usual, are, how should I say, interesting. Two reasons to high five the staff though, one being that Machine Go Boom nabbed best indie/underground band, and the other being that there is no mention of Mushroomhead. Keep your speeches short, cause no one gives a shit.

Freedom Haters Beware the Blog!!!

A Kent State prof who was thrown to the wolves after publishing an article about the motivations of a suicide bomber three years ago, is under assault again. Julio Pino, a Muslim convert, was accused by Mike Adams via the blog Townhall.com that he is linked to an extremist Islamic website. As a result of these unfounded comments Pino and the University have been receiving threats and the rest of us, well, we are just reminded that Americans hate Muslims and perspectives of the rest of the world that differ from those given by Fox News. Someone light some sparklers and change the name of french toast, cause we’ve got a serious security breach.

Oh, Wal-Mart, Sometimes I Just Want to Give You a Huge Hug and Never Let Go!

Scene (of all people) go the ever-popular route of bashing mega corporation Wal-Mart, but get this! They’ve got facts and new info! Something doesn’t seem quite right here, but enjoy it while it lasts, people. Seems hillbilly fav Wal-Mart hasn’t been doing so hot the past few years resulting in a massive PR compaign, one that culminated with the announcement that the new Wal-Mart in Steelyard Commons will forgo $10 million in Cleveland tax money. But as Scene (still can’t believe this) points out, shit it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Just when you thought you couldn’t hate them more.

Obama Rocks Ohio

Presidential hopeful Barack Obama ended his trip across Ohio by drawing yet another big ass crowd. Dude has totally been bringing the people out, causing venue changes and the turning away of numerous rally-goers. For a guy that announced his intentions to run only two months ago, this is pretty damn good. The Plain Dealer has got all the fine details.

Prepare to Say “WTF!?

Ohio’s most prosecuted drunk driver received a sentence of 16 and a half years in prison. This came after being convicted of drunk driving 20 times. That is not a typo, 20 mother fucking times. You’d think after, I don’t know, 5,6 times the state would realize something was up with this dude. I mean what other law can you get away with committing 20 times before receiving a large sentence. Littering? Loitering? The guy who was pretending to buy stamps with government money got in deeper shit than this guy. Wow. Here’s to you, chief.

Yes, This is Real

While this news report may seem like a Daily Show segment, it is in fact the real deal, folks. Seems emos are causing problems with their emo tests and emo lifestyles. Thank god we have people like officer Brandon Maygra to look out for the rest of us. This idiot, along with news reporters, think that websites like “How Emo Are You?” and “How to Dress Emo” are being taken rather seriously by America’s impressionable youth. There are so many priceless quotes in this report, but I won’t ruin them all for you. Check it out for yourself and remember, earn more points if you cry a lot!

Creepy Talks Sewage

Ok, I won’t waste a lot of space here throwing out insulting titles for Michael McIntyre, I figure you can look at his photo and come up with enough on your own. So, in his new column Michael talks sewage. Elections for Sewer District seats are coming up and it seems there are two bonus seats for either Cleveland or the suburbs to claim. Looks like the suburbs have had no problem scooping up the “more population” one the past few years, but this year would mark the first time they’ve taken the “most sewer usage” one. Cleveland is fighting to have the numbers for 2006 added up in hopes that they can stay on top of the septic throne. Still, wouldn’t it be disturbing if the place with A LOT LESS people is using A LOT MORE of the sewer system? Wasteful little bastards.

Going Soft Again

That’s right MyFriendCleveland is bringing you yet another heart warmer! Maybe we are tiring of scandal and gossip and downright stupidity! Well actually we aren’t, the news has just been slowwwwwwwww. So today take a break from all the dirty dirtiness of the world and read about an 81-year-old grandmother who still acts as a school crossing guard even when it is snowing. Sigh. I sure hope things get interesting again real soon.

I Already Said it Was Slow!

How boring is today looking? Boring enough for me to link The Plain Dealer’s “5 Headlines You May Have Missed!” One is about robots though, so stop complaining! Here’s the link, but don’t be expecting the headlines to link you to the actual articles, that would be too much work for the anti-internet jerks at the PD. Idiots.

There’s a lot going on tonight!!! Check out the Sidebar for more information!

Also- Check out the photo page if you haven’t yet. New pics were added.

Also, also- new reviews (or review, depending on how motivated we are) are up!!!

This Moment in Alt Press History

Everyone’s favorite Cleveland based music mag has unleashed their always coveted “100 BANDS YOU NEED TO KNOW!” issue and amongst the eyeliner toting post-screamo-metal-lounge-dance-punk-thrash bands there is one tiny contribution from our very own city. In case you haven’t already guessed from the title it is none other than This Moment in Black History. The band gets compared to Fatal Flying Guilloteens, An Albatross, and Pere Ubu, while singer Chris Kulcsar waxes philosophical about C-town by saying, “Cleveland is one of the best and worse places to be in a band.” Deep. I would link this but unfortunately Alt Press’s website is still rocking last month’s issue. Looks like us subscribers got the jump on the rest of you. Wait a second, did I really just admit that I subscribe to Alternative Press?

Why can I do Whatever I Want? Because I’m the Mayor’s Brother!

Regina Brett gets all editorial on Nick Jackson, the dude who somehow stayed around when everyone else in the Cleveland public school system got the boot and was recently cleared on sexual harasment charges. Seems Regina ain’t content to just take the news like everyone else as she fires volley after volley at the shady and inadequate actions taken in the situation. Score one for injustice.

Hold Up. A Heart Warmer?

The Free Times has gotten a little soft this week, and well I guess we are too for linking this piece. They’ve decided to tell the story of a guy who lost his wife, started drinking heavily, and get this… turned his life around! Long story short, dude rocked the Peace Corps and has been succeeded by two more generations. Maybe we all aren’t going to hell after all.

Tops Workers: Still Getting Screwed

Former Tops workers, despite being out-of-luck because, you know, they lost their jobs and all, are now being faced with a bill. That’s right, a bill. Tops has “figured out” that they over paid a lot of their empoyees for severance pay and holiday pay. Word on the street is that Tops is going to have a little trouble getting that money back. “Why?” you ask? Mostly because those people who owe you money don’t have jobs.

Cleveland Schools Safe, Despite the Shootings

Nothing spells safety like two people getting shot. At least that seems to be the message the Cleveland Schools CEO and Cleveland Public Safety Director are saying. Two fights broke out at a local school, the second one ending in two people going to the hospital with gunshot wounds, and three people getting arrested. Obviously, this is not a daily incident, but I’m going to say that it also doesn’t sound like the safest thing on the planet.

The Warped Tour Now Generating Even More Money

How is it possible that poser-fest.. excuse me, Warped Tour is able to get money for itself even in the offseason? OH! That’s it! Have an exhibit at the extremely over priced Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Warped: 12 Years of Music, Mayhem, and More will be open until September third and will feature memorabilia from such “legends” as No Doubt and Taking Back Sunday (seriously I’ll probably go see the TBS stuff). If you can’t wait for summer, check the article here.

America Has The World’s Best Taste in Movies

The #1 movie in America this past weekend, making $44.5 MILLION, more than doubling its nearest competitor, opening on a Friday without any press pre-screening, Oscar nominee for Best Movie of the Year Starring Nicholas Cage (Against the Machine), GHOST RIDER!!! That’s right people. $44.5 MILLION!!! GHOST RIDER!!! SERIOUSLY!!!

Finally!!! More pics!!!

Be prepared though- there are a lot of Self Destruct Button and Clan of the Cave Bear pics… it’s mostly due to my complete lack of motivation to actually leave the house, but there is some fun stuff in here.

First, check out some images from Chris Kolsar’s send-off show at Pat’s in the Flats, featuring J.J. Magazine. These pictures were taken by Brandon Miller and Amanda Clark.

The rest of the pictures are from this year. You can view them all here. I took most of them.

Got an event you would like to see pictured here? Feel free to invite the staff of MyFriendCleveland.com, and we will try our hardest to be there. Check out our Events calendar, you can add your own events!!
If you’re in the need for more pictures, check out Low Muenz’s stuff. He is, in my opinion, the best band photographer in Cleveland.

-Denny

My Sweet Accord May Not Be So Sweet

I put all this money and time into pimping out and fine tuning my sweet ass import, and now I hear that Hondas may have a serious problem with their odometers (called Mile-ometer by most). How big of a problem? 2.5%. I know. HUGE! Say you drive 100 miles, your car is going to tell you that you drove 102.5 miles. I, for one, am outraged. Find out if your warranty gets extended here.

All Gas Station Accidents Don’t Involve Explosions

On the corner of W. 14th and Clark a BP gas station collapsed, covering a few cars and injuring two people. Local passerby’s were waiting on the edge of their seats to see some “serious, bomb-ass explosions” but were left unsatisfied. I bet that if John Leguizamo showed up and played his character from Romeo and Juliet, things would have been different.

The All-Star Game: Did the Players Even Care?

The final score of the NBA All-Star Game was 153 to 135, with the West on top, begging the question: Was anyone even playing defence. Sure, these are the best players in the league so the score might be a little higher than average, but (Your Majesty) Lebron James tried to ally-oop himself (and failed miserably). It was a joke of a basketball spectacle. And Wayne Newton was lip-synching. I’m not even linking an article, I’m just pissed.

Where Did the Updates Go?

As some people have pointed out, and as is quite obvious, we missed a bunch of updates recently. We have some staff members out of town and some schedule adjustments here at the MyFriendCleveland offices, and we had to take a little time to reorganize. We are, hopefully, back on track. Keep checking back for your updates. … And Britney Spears shaving her head isn’t news, but Tucker Carlson was reporting the HELL out of it!

Hacking, Always Better Than Bomb Threats

Two girls in Trenton Ohio managed to hack their way into the school district’s website and posted a fake school closing announcement. Some students did not attend thanks to the announcement while others were merely bummed that the two girls didn’t even attempt to write the word “boner” eve once on the school’s site. You can’t get everything, kids.

So What if it’s Valentine’s Day! Everybody Loves Music!

A lot has been happening at the intersection of music and politics as of late and we here at MyFriendCleveland feel that you deserve to know about the subsequent collisions. First off, Apple head honcho Steve Jobs ain’t too happy with copy-protected music. Stevie has a little article published on Apple’s site detailing some of his beefs with the current music laws and industry. And guess what? Some other big wigs decided to respond to Jobs statements and our pals over at Punknews.org have thankfully paraphrased these tidbits for us. Thought that was good… we’ve got more.

Punknews.org also has info on the recent under-21 club ban in DC. Everyone’s favorite political punk Ian MacKaye was not too happy about the proposed bill and gave a speech at round table discussion hosted by a DC council member. To get more info and a YouTube (what don’t these fuckers have?) video of MacKaye’s speech just click here.

Finally, we all know the sneaky games politicians play as they pack laws inside of laws, well looks like they are attempting to strike again. This time a new bill is attempting to make mp3 streaming format illegal. If you’ve been listening to college radio stations in the area at all you’ve probably heard about this by now, but if not get caught up.

Don’t Leave Your House

I know it’s the easy route to go with another snow story, but this one is just priceless. City officials have pretty much shut down Cleveland today, saying not to leave your house unless it’s absolutely necessary. And no, delivering those chocolates you bought your sweetums isn’t necessary. While I’m driving to work, you can read the story here.

Plain Dealer Calls Snow a “Southern Sucker Punch”

We got more snow coming our way, and this time it’s not that bullshit Lake Effect stuff. This front is coming straight up from the Gulf of Mexico, and weather experts (like that one dude on Fox who is going to tell me “the reality of the weather”) are predicting ONE FOOT of snow in some areas of Cleveland this wednesday. Remember, mittens are better for your hands than gloves.

As If the Snow Days Weren’t Enough

A Brunswick student who called a bomb threat into his high school is being charged $200,000. This figure came from the school adding up it’s costs to close down for three days. Three days to realize there was no bomb? Everything works a little slower down south. The police caught the suspect after receiving over 100 tips after paying the recorded threats on the air. So seriously, this kid’s got 100 rats to beat up.

JT vs. Girl Talk: Battle of 2007

Over at the Free Times they have some reviews of some recent shows. It all starts with “You can’t deny Justin Timberlake’s talent.” Really? I can’t? I’m actually pretty sure I can. Not saying that I would at this particular moment, but I’m pretty sure I can. Anyways, they have reviews of the big JT show (which my uncle has hilarious stories about), the Z’s show, and the Girl Talk show, among others. I guess you can check them out, because we got too lazy to write reviews at some point.

Get Your Love On

Tomorrow, as we all know, is Valentine’s day. “I hate Valentine’s Day” you say? Good for you. Anyways, if you don’t have yourself a sweetheart and you’re worried that you will be left unsatisfied on tomorrow’s day for lovers, you should check out our message board. No, you won’t meet anyone special, but there are usually about 15 spam porn links put up every day, so at least you’ll have that.

Professional Athletes Only Turn Gay After Leaving Sports

PD columnist Bud Shaw looks into the “announcing I’m gay only long after I have left sports” phenomenon we are currently experiencing. The debate stems from former Cavalier John Amaechi announcing his homosexuality, a move Shaw says is not brave considering that Amaechi lives in England and hasn’t played ball in 4 years. Shaw apparently wants a player to announce his homosexuality while he is still playing. But honestly, why should anyone have to announce his or her sexuality? How often do straight players hold conferences to let people know that they are into chicks? Oh, and for those who didn’t know Shaw reminds us that Indians relief pitcher Kaz Tadano appeared in a gay porn film, but has made it abundantly clear that he is not gay. Gay, gay, gay. That has got to get someone to click it.

Wonderful, Devious, Complicated Scandal!!!

That’s right! We got some! I know your mouths are already watering gossipmongers, so I will get to it. The Free Times has busted out a full on expose looking into the dirty dealings of building our beloved city. It’s got everything! There are ties to the mayor, racial issues, and even death threats!!! And don’t forget, money! Get down and dirty!

Someone Really Doesn’t Like Going to School

Like many schools in the area Brunswick High was closed on Monday and Tuesday because of weather, but unlike other schools in the area Brunswick was closed the rest of the week due to bomb threats. And let’s not forget that Brunswick already dealt with a fake bomb threat earlier in the year. There has got to be some major pants shitting going on over this. Not a very good reputation to be building, guys.

The Plain Dealer Assumes You’re a Moron…

…and we all know what happens when you assume. As if people constantly asking me at work “is it cold out there still” isn’t annoying enough, now the Plain Dealer has the nerve to publish an article about how to keep warm. This is Cleveland. This isn’t the first time we’ve experienced cold weather. I think we all know we need to layer up if we’re headed outdoors.

Those Smart Kids in High School Are Smarter Than You

We’re dealing with geniuses here people. I don’t know who to make fun of more, the people who did this study, or the Plain Dealer for acting like it’s news. Anyways, the “College Board” (the group of people who administer the Advanced Placement tests in highschool) have done two studies that suggest students who take AP classes do better in school than those who don’t. Really? Is that why those kids are considered “advanced”? Or maybe they’re just trying to trick more people into paying the ridiculous fee to take those bullshit tests.

A Little Advertising for a Cool Dude

The show was last friday, and there should be our own review up of it soon enough, but the Scene also did a little piece on Girl Talk, the mash-up master who showed up all over Top Ten Album lists for 2006 (including Rolling Stone, which had that piece of crap Red Hot Chili Peppers album as number 2). I was at the show, and I hated being sober, but he seemed like a cool dude, so read what the Scene has to say about him here.

Dog Killers Get Firm Slap On Wrist

We recently discussed the Cleveland Clinic’s unauthorized use of a dog in a demonstration, one that led to the dog’s death. Well, it looks like the USDA has decided to merely issue a warning instead of getting all kinds of serious. Seems the clinic reported their mistake quickly, so just remember that the next time you kill something. One eight seven on an M Effin dog.

49th is Still Better Than 50th

Ohio is ranking low yet again, this time in regards to affordable housing costs for seniors. It looks like Mississippi is the only state where Medicaid costs are more expensive. But don’t worry, we’ve got some real talented people looking into this. I mean just check out this quote from spokesman Steve Mould of the Ohio Health Care Association. “As long as the state doesn’t rob Peter to pay Paul, we absolutely agree that there’s a dramatic need for more home-care services.” Uh, what? I didn’t know New Testament references were the financial slang of the day. Maybe Jesus can multiply the state’s funding.

MySpace Strikes Again

A part-time Math teacher at Kent Roosevelt High School was asked to resign after some students discovered her MySpace page. It seems the media decided to blow this shit out of proportion (how uncharacteristic!) and speak of her drug, alcohol, and sex references, which hardly even existed. The sad thing is it took the Akron Beacon Journal to stand up and scream, “Bullshit!” If anything people should be concerned that a teacher is only making enough money to smoke strawberry blunts and drink malt liquor, otherwise there is nothing worth raising a stink over here. I’m pretty sure I sent her a friend request and she denied me.

Rock Hall Gets Nappy

To celebrate Black History month the Rock Hall is bringing out the reggae. A number of events including speakers, performers, film screenings, and high school kids getting totally stoned, will take place throughout the month of February. So get up, stand up, and celebrate. Bad joke? Probably.

Cleveland Bishop Strives For Douche Bag Award

Scene lets us all know that Bishop Richard Lennon, a Catholic clergy man known for his prick attitude in a Frontline documentary (available through the Scene article) is now happily serving in Cleveland. What’s great about this article is that apparently no one in Cleveland thinks Scene is a worthwhile read as a spokesperson from the Catholic diocese explained to Scene that no one would comment on the Bishop’s appearance in the documentary because they “don’t talk to tabloids.” The writer behind the article then makes Scene look worse by dropping cliche anti-Catholic jokes that you’ve heard at least 500 times at this point. It’s always great to see a dick report on a Dick.

Who Knew Crack Was Bad for You?

A man held in police custody died yesterday, but today it was revealed that the dude had a stomach full of crack baggies, some of which had spilled out. The Plain Dealer gets all nerdy explaining how dealers will swallow their drugs in order to hide evidence. Maybe grandma will be shocked but I think the rest of us have seen enough movies to figure it out. They called it crack, I called it diet coke.