MyFriendCleveland

Why Does No One Ever Say “Cleveland,” When Asked the Anywhere in the World Question?

Six Alaskan high school seniors have changed that. When the class (yes, six is the whole class) had to decide where to go for their senior trip they picked C-Town. And do you know why? Let’s just say it’s the city’s single largest tourist attraction. No, not the Rock Hall, not the lake, but LeBron Motherfucking James. The PD reports that unbearable winters lead to lots of television time in Alaska, time that these students spend obsessing over the NBA. Now if all these kids deciding they wanted to go to Cleveland sounds just a bit too perfect, one student does admit that the Lakers are his favorite team. I guess we can let that slide, for now.

“Don’t like your teacher? Beat her up and we’ll fire her for you!”

I love when they handle the titles for me. Channel 3 reports that Kathy Boggins, a Buckeye High School teacher who was attacked by a 15-year-old student in September, will not be re-hired because the school board does not like the way she handled the situation. Yep, that’s the explanation for a woman losing her job because she was assaulted. Parents and students turned out to argue on Boggins behalf and dropped priceless quotes like the one above on an apparently deranged board. What a state, we allow students to be paddled and teachers to be beaten.

Smokers Move Closer to Second Rate Citizens in North Royalton

While most of the state is still figuring out how to enforce the smoking ban, what it actually entails, and what the hell is going on with the money from the added cigarette tax, North Royalton is simply tacking on new laws. That town now has an outdoor smoking ban, one that prevents smoking on any city-owned land including parking lots, fields, and parks. Some people see it as a way for people to enjoy summer events like little league games or fireworks displays without being exposed to smoke, but again how do you enforce this shit? If you are smoking in your car on a city owned road are you breaking the law? Do North Royalton City Hall employees have to walk really far away from the building to smoke now? Can I scream at someone smoking in North Royalton? I mean, these are real serious questions. You better get your shit straight, North Royalton.