Oh Boy, Oh Boy, Oh Boy!

Pulitzer Voting Machines, Also Broken

Regina Brett has been the subject of many jokes here at MFC, and for good reason. The woman writes a mix of trite, deadline-meeting columns that read more like something from a soccer mom’s blog than a major newspaper and blatant tugs at the heartstrings of the easily emotional. I mean she wrote an article (linked above) about the benefits of school uniforms less than two years ago that said the same shit people have been saying since you were young enough to be in a uniform. Oh, and as some of you may have forgotten, her columnist photo – like most at the PD – just begs to be mocked. But enough of that, she has taken a lot of pot shots already. The real reason for this post is that Regina (who recently got her own page on the PD’s site) is a finalist for a Pulitzer…

Sorry, I had to pick my jaw up off the floor for about the hundredth time now. Sure, the woman can write whatever she wants however she wants, and she obviously has an audience that enjoys what she does, and that’s fine. But for her to be in the running for the most prestigious award in journalism is just a sham. I mean no one from the Plain Dealer even wanted to admit it, hence the fact that the article written about the event is credited to “The Plain Dealer Staff” and not an individual. Read up and freak out, I know I have.

Schlitz is One Step Closer to Cleveland

Looking for another cheap, classic, and of course ironic beer to slam down this summer? Well Pabst’s has reintroduced Schlitz to a third market now, this one Chicago. Coming on the heels of Minneapolis/St. Paul, where people drink anything, and Tampa, where old guys who had the shit originally can get all nostalgic at the pool, Chicago will now have the beer available in 10 markets. No word yet on where Cleveland comes on the list, but just look how clear and piss-like the beer in this photo looks. Mmmmm, classic American.

Let the Conspiracy Theories Come Rolling In!

Only here, at MFC, is anyone willing to speculate on the actual events surrounding the good deeds of an 11-year-old boy. Let’s paint a picture: evil, uncaring, irresponsible school bus driver leaves his bus to go into a gas station bathroom, probably to meet a hooker or do some blow. Of course this fool leaves his keys in the ignition and when the bus starts rolling towards a GIGANTIC and DEADLY semi an 11-year-old boy springs into action from the backseats, charges towards the front of the bus like Superman and turns the wheel allowing the bus to crash safely. That’s what the media wants you to think! But at MFC we’ve got other ideas. Lovable bus driver has IBS (that’s irritable bowel syndrome) and needs to use a restroom before he floods the bus with poop. In his panic that something may have already escaped his over-worked, sickly body the driver forgets he has left the keys behind. An 11-year-old who thinks he’s hot shit decides to try his hand at drifting (damn those Fast and Furious movies!) and ends up crashing the bus. Ha! There it is! Evidence, you want evidence! How about the fact that no one knows why the bus started rolling yet? I guess the wheels on the bus go round and round even if the driver isn’t on it.

MFC Video Team is Back!!!

That’s right, if, like me, you forgot a video page even existed on this website, forget no fucking more, baby! For now you can check out Guide to Ramen III: Guide to Cheesecake on YouTube, but believe when I say there is more to come.