MyFriendCleveland Get used to it

Some People Don’t Like the Rules

Video cameras set up in East Cleveland to ticket drivers going over the speed limit may now be removed. Apparently $95 tickets have been issued for drivers going 2 miles over the limit. In reaction to this Black on Black Crime members (wait, what?) collected a slew of signatures from East Cleveland residents asking for the cameras to be removed. East Cleveland mayor, Eric Brewer, is not very happy with the decision insisting that if the people don’t want cameras he will simply use more cops whose tickets also come with points on your license. Next up, extending the period of time people are allowed to park in a handicap parking space without handicap tags to at least 20 minutes. Just think about it.

Racist High School Puts on Racist Play

A Cincinnati high school, after much debate and cries of cancellation, will be performing a play that was objected to by the NAACP. The play is based on a classic Agatha Christie novel and has been performed under the titles “Ten Little Indians” and “Then There Were None.” The high school has opted for the latter title and will be running additional activities to honor diversity. Meanwhile the Cleveland Indians organization is laughing hard and loud after completing another season with their name unchanged. Lawrence J. Dolan raises his glass and exclaims Thank God we’re not in Cincinnati!

How is this Possible?

This is two pieces in a row worth checking out from… C-Notes! Bad jokes aside, it looks like the Scene bloggers have done a bit of reading recently, uncovering the fact that Ohio’s House and Senate ain’t doing shit. In the past six months the House has met 10 times, the Senate 12. They’ve also only passed half as many bills as they did in 2005, and a quarter as many as they did in 2001. To make matters even more comical/frightening/infuriating, House Speaker Jon Husted states that the lack of work is because, “There’s just not a lot of things ready.” Wow. But don’t worry, people, this may actually be a good thing because, “You may not be so excited about some of the things that people might want to move on the floor.” Oh, you mean like bills? Yeah, that would suck. Money for nothing and chicks for free.

Posted under Hometown

And the Voting Problems Keep Coming

Recount. Remember that word? Well Cuyahoga County has just taken part in another one after 20 percent of the votes printed out in our most recent election were unreadable. But don’t worry, the county is looking into the printing problems, and they still don’t know why the voting software crashed twice on election night. If you need some sort of reassurance that similar problems will not lay siege to next year’s presidential election you need look no further than County Commissioner Jimmy Dimora. “If it is as close as it’s been for the last two presidential elections and it’s that close again in 2008, God help us if we have to depend on Cuyahoga County as the deciding factor with regard to making the decision on who the next president of the United States is.” Well, I can sleep sound now.

How Does this Thing Work Again?

We updated you on everyone’s favorite drunk politician and his latest escapades last week, but did you know Zack Reed had to be driven across the city to be given a blood alcohol test, one that he refused? Seems Cleveland’s police force is not very familiar with how Breathalyzers and blood alcohol tests work. Only 59 out of 1,600 have taken classes on the machines, mostly because they are voluntary. Compare this to the fact that all 1,500 State Troopers know how to use the machines. A little training, anyone?

Hating on Yourself

C-Notes has an update on the Case professor who claimed colleagues were sending her hate emails after she filed a discrimination complaint. Turns out she was sending them herself. Seems the professor lied to the FBI and despite her lawyer’s attempts to bring her mental health into question, she will be serving six months in prison and will be responsible for repaying the $66,000 spent on investigating her claims. Maybe she can send herself some nice letters in her cell.

Posted under Hometown

Dude Can’t Get Enough

Cleveland Councilman Zach Reed is back on the sauce. You may recall when we linked that fantastic little news piece Channel 19 did on Zach a while back where, after receiving a DUI, the councilman hit up West 6th having numerous drinks and then driving home. Well this morning at 3 AM our esteemed councilman was found passed out in his car and refused a sobriety test. What does that mean? Reed just racked up another DUI charge. What a leader, what a guy.

This Just In: Plain Dealer Still Can’t Write, Cleveland Still Drunk

The PD reports that in an upcoming issue of Men’s Health Cleveland ranks as the 13th most sober city. While the opening to this article - which laments Cleveland’s less than savory titles - may sound like MyFriendCleveland wrote it, you need look no further than the closing moments of this piece to see that bad humor and useless observations never quite escape The Plain Dealer. Drink, anyone?

Pumpkin Beer and Pumpkin Pie

It only makes sense that I should close out today with one more beerlicious tid-bit. The Plain Dealer reports that beer is replacing wine at some Thanksgiving dinners. This does not mean you should crack open a Bud Lite, assholes. What this does mean is that you should class up your choice of suds. The PD even offers a few suggestions for those unsure of where to start. Check it out.

And while we are on the subject, Melt is tapping the only keg of Stone Double Arrogant Bastard available in North East Ohio today. The beer clocks in at over 10 ABV (for those counting) and is a rare treat. So do yourself a favor and get some. Happy Beer and Turkey Day!!

Posted under Hometown

Somebody’s Been Busy

Did you forget MyFriendCleveland had other sections? I know I did. Well we’ve got some new shit for your reading pleasure. First is a new Secret Mustache column and second is a review of Fucked Up’s Year of the Pig 12 inch. And this is only the start! At least we hope…

Talk the Turkey

By now you should have established at least a somewhat dismal opinion of The Plain Dealer. If not, maybe you aren’t reading this site enough. But today serves as a prime example of just what I mean. The Plain Dealer’s lead story? Does it have to do with politics? Crime problems? Race issues? Economic decline? The Cavs? No, it has to do with the price of turkeys being higher in Cleveland Giant Eagles than in Columbus Giant Eagles. Thank goodness Northeast Ohio Couponers is on the case! Seems these bargain hunters are hunting a little scandal! How’s that for a headline? You can check out the stats for yourself then maybe figure out a way to get a friend in Columbus to ship you a turkey. Armageddon is upon us!

News Report or New Movie Plot?

Martial Arts Instructor has golden sword stolen and now must fight his way to its recovery! Well, sort of. An instructor from Elyria left a golden sword used in Kill Bill in his pick-up truck after a demonstration and returned to find it had been stolen. No, the man was not connected to the film at all; he purchased the apparently sharpened sword from E-Bay. And, in case you are unfamiliar with the work of Quentin Tarantino, NewsNet5 has a just fantastic synopsis.  “‘Kill Bill’ stars Uma Thurman as an assassin out for revenge.” Couldn’t have said it better myself. Get ready for some high-kicking adventure!

Oh, So That’s What all Those “No Gun” Signs Meant!

The Akron Canton Journal is reporting that Akron City Council President Marco Sommerville tried to bring a handgun onto a plane via his carry on bag at the Akron Canton airport. Sommerville was not arrested, but continued on to his meeting in New Orleans, sparking some interesting questions of double standards. Sommerville could not be reached but luckily his lawyer was able to make things crystal clear by stating, “I’m unclear on all the facts, but apparently the allegation is that he had a weapon in his bag and I’m understanding there is going to be a charge coming out of it.” This well-informed lawyer went on to state that Sommerville was licensed to have the weapon and probably forgot it was in the bag because he normally brings the gun with him to late night and early morning meetings. Where or what these meetings are for is not quite clear and whether the councilman endorses everyone bringing guns to meetings is also up for debate. Lock and load.

Posted under Hometown

Just When You Thought Parma Couldn’t Get Anymore Shady

At a Parma School Board meeting a couple weeks back School Board President Rosemary Gulick ordered 20 minutes of audiotape created during the meeting to be erased. The discussion that occurred during this time concerned whether the Superintendent should retire and then be re-hired at a lower salary. This is an apparently common practice, but one that leaves the re-hired person working with a salary and a pension that taxpayers shell out. Gulick apologized and the members have been recreating minutes from notes and memory, but let’s check out a couple of other things here that should cause a “WTF!?” or at least a “Whattttttt????” Treasurer Bruce Basalla is quoted as saying, “I should have tackled her.” How do you feel about that Parma? Your School Board Treasurer wants to tackle women. He didn’t even raise his voice to stop the tape from being erased, but now he thinks violence is the answer. Maybe teachers should tackle students, eh Basalla? The Superintendent meanwhile referred to the incident as “silly.” Someone intentionally erased public record and all the Superintendent thinks is that it’s silly? Either she is stupid, high, or a small child, three factors that should indicate a person is not qualified to be Superintendent. Lastly comes this whopper. The Plain Dealer asked why it took three weeks for any member of the board to call the Attorney General. The response from the Vice President of the board?  “I think it took time for it to sink in to everyone that ‘Hey, wait a minute. What just happened?’” Apparently it’s not just the Superintendent who’s high.

Iron Chef Finale: Raising Cleveland Morale or Reason to Throw a Party with Good Food?

I’m just going to go ahead and say both. Cleveland Chef Michael Symon (Lola, Lolita) has worked his way to the finale of The Next Iron Chef, which will air at 9 on Sunday night on; you guessed it, The Food Network. If you’d like more heart warming details on how Symon has been winning over a nation of viewers with his “Midwest charm” you can check out The Plain Dealer. As far as MyFriendCleveland’s prediction on the winner, an inter-office discussion brought to light the fact that the finale party (which both chefs are attending) is being held in Cleveland. Kitchen Stadium is a chump compared to the Red Sox.

Have Guns, Will Travel

In an attempt to reduce homicides Cleveland has set up a program that will give $100 gas cards in exchange for guns. If one of our readers is lucky enough to be packing and tired enough of paying a shit ton to fill your ride then you should head to the Convention Center on Saturday. What can I get for a Super Soaker?

Posted under Hometown

Bloggers, No Longer Allowed to Be Opinionated

The Plain Dealer introduced a political blog over the summer that featured two right-wingers and two left-wingers getting their rant on. As uneventful, and ultimately common, as this sounds The Free Times reports on how one of the liberal bloggers was fired because of his contributions to a liberal candidate. Now while this is a policy used by The Plain Dealer to make sure that reporters stay impartial, should someone who was hired to have a specific bias be punished for demonstrating that bias? Thankfully The Free Times was willing to ask the same question, and they’ve got much more time to answer it. Let me pass you along.

Speaking of Politics…

…there was an election yesterday - one that MyFriendCleveland has yet to give any insight on - so rather than mess up that perfect record, I’ll let The Plain Dealer give you their Election wrap up. Believe me, it’s enthralling!

And the Nation Laughs at Dennis Kucinich Once More

Oh, Dennis, what zany fun do you have for us now!? In April (you waited seven years to do this?) Dennis Kucinich proposed a bill to impeach Dick Cheney. No, seriously. Kucinich felt that the lies (did he just recently hear about this?) from Bush and Cheney that led to war in Iraq needed to be punished. The Democrats didn’t seem too excited by Kucinich’s wacky proposal and in an attempt to have it simply go away, passed it on to the House Judiciary Committee. Now fast forward a bit. The bill was about to be dropped when a number of Republicans (that is not a typo) stepped up and changed their votes to support the bill and save it. Now before you get too excited about crazy opinion changes, lets make something clear. This is merely a political move to make the Democrats look bad. Of course in true Kucinich fashion, Dennis is unable to see these tactics for what they are. Instead he is strapping on one of those big dumb smiles and getting excited about the fact that his bill will now gain more attention (aka laughter) from the American people and lead to hearings in Congress. Some day you will understand how this works, Dennis, some day.

Taking it Back to School

Allow me to leave you with more election tidbit to mull over. Channel 3 offers a break down of how different school districts faired in the election. Ok, so maybe it’s not that exciting, but you clowns need to be informed! Knowledge is just a click away.

Posted under Hometown

Ohio City Goes Amish

For those of you who didn’t notice (I know I didn’t) an Amish-owned and run store that sells everything from furniture and quilts to honey and pie has opened up on W. 25th Street. Twelve families contribute goods to the shop, which is run by Bill Byler, an Amish man who has opened businesses in the past. The Plain Dealer picks Bill’s brain and looks at the moral issues surrounding his many business ventures. Check this shit out next time you’re at the market.

What Do Biochem Nerds Do at Case?

Apparently they edit videos of mice running on mini-treadmills. Ok, so there is talk of using enzymes to help livers and kidneys, but said enzymes also make for super athletic mice. The Plain Dealer gets into all the details of PEPCK-C, an enzyme discovered at Case in 1955, and yes, there is video footage for those not prone to reading about science, or those just prone to watching funny animal videos. Next up for the mice, a full recreation of that OK Go video.

Nothing Quite Like Dropping a Needle

Here’s a little treat for Cleveland vinyl fans, a couple articles discussing the rise of popularity for records. Wired recently published a piece on the return of vinyl in the music industry. They cite rising numbers at pressing plants as well as indie fans with healthy appetites for anything on wax. Even the better sound quality of vinyl is tackled in true Wired fashion. In response to this article Vinyl Collective, a website dedicated to all things vinyl, posted their own piece on the subject of vinyl. Here they shed light on the fact that Soundscan does not account for most vinyl sales and that the return of vinyl may be a result of our fast food culture. Enjoy, audiophiles.

Dog Ain’t the Only One Dropping the N-Word on Tape

Recordings of Mayor Eric Brewer of East Cleveland using the N-Word and telling cops to destroy a number of parking tickets recently surfaced. The Mayor believes they have come as a reaction to his firing of a police chief and officer. Still the mayor, who is African American, is not suffering for his words with one woman stating that lots of people call each other that name, so you can’t be offended. In typical Channel 3 fashion there are no statements from people who may be offended, or even an attempt at contacting the NAACP. Remember when they buried that shit? I doubt they’d like to know it’s back from the dead. Despite the seriousness of this issue I still can’t help but laugh at the cop’s recorded response to Brewer’s statement. “You’re silly.” I feel safe knowing some dope with the vocabulary of a three-year-old is out protecting the streets. Keep up the good work, Sarge.

Posted under Hometown