It’s Official: Plain Dealer Has Exclusive Pre-Teen Audience
By now you all know about the school shooting downtown, and before you cringe at what you think is about to follow, give me some credit. The Plain Dealer has extensive (aka over-saturated) coverage of the shooter in today’s paper. This includes some pics of the kid on their website. Now while some of you may want to indulge your inner gossip-rag lover and check out the snapshots (given to the paper by a friend of Asa Coon) what you really need to check out are the posts below said photos. If an adult created any of those posts I will personally help them apply for high school, again. With the Plain Dealer’s level of quality I guess I shouldn’t be shocked by its readers’ level of intelligence and tact, but this is ridiculous. Besides reiterating every argument ever made about school shootings these clowns fire off great debate standards like “You’re an idiot!” The internet is such a beautiful thing.
Cabbies Strike Back
In our previous post (which I know you’ve all read and discussed by now) we informed you about the changes in cab policy at Hopkins. Well it seems that someone else besides cab riders found their panties in a bundle after the announcement. Don’t know who? Read the title, assholes. It’s called context clues! Damn, maybe you should be reading The Plain Dealer (lolz!). Wow, anyway… Four Cleveland area cab companies (ones not allowed to pick up passengers at the airport) are suing the city for what they say is a breach of contract and discrimination against the first-generation immigrants who own the companies. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Cleveland! I keep thinking about Robert Deniro when I read these things, I don’t know why.
Who Breaks Into a Bathroom?
A student at Pinnicle Academy (I don’t know anything about this school, but I want to beat up someone who goes there based on the name alone) in Euclid reported that two masked men were trying to break into a bathroom at the school. Don’t worry, the article does later mention that the two dudes were black, so you can all rest easy now racists. But now this begs some questions. What the hell does Pinnicle Academy keep in their bathrooms? And did the kid who reported this just get in trouble and need to take the heat of for a while? “Oh, and they were black!!” “I think it would be a little hard to tell that with masks on Johnny, but a white person would never break the law, so I’ll take your word for it, son.” I want to go take a piss there now just to see if the rumor about solid gold urinals is true.
Posted under Hometown
This post was written by MyFriendCleveland on October 12, 2007
