Good Catholic Girl Headed for the Big House
Colleen Kempf, St. Joseph Academy’s former bookkeeper, was sentenced to four years in prison for swiping over $400,000 from the school. Kempf, along with her husband, and other supporters argued for leniency claiming that untreated bipolar disorder lead her astray. I guess the judge just wasn’t able to overlook that this had gone on for six years and wasn’t just a one time mistake, that St. Joe’s now has problems raising money because people fear it will be stolen again, that for every letter showing support for Kempf fifteen came in asking for her imprisonment, and that St. Joe’s president claimed Kempf had a “lack of remorse” and “unwillingness to repay what she’s taken.” And as much as St. Joe’s could be viewed as simply money-hungry, the school’s accountants reduced the amount stolen (without explanation) to an amount that lessened Kempf’s sentencing. Still all Kempf’s husband could do was think about some sweet ’80s jams as he told reporters, “She needs me now more than ever.” What will Meatloaf do with Bonnie Tyler locked up?
I’ve Already Got My Tickets
They are front row too, you unlucky little bastards. I’ll be able to feel drops of sweat while you are trying to figure out which scalper is actually legit. I’ll be screaming my head off while you are shouting, “How fucking much!?” Yep, I’ll be singing along with a massive crowd of pre-teens while you’re heading to a bar to drink away your pain after not being able to score tickets to the Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus concert. Seems this once in a lifetime rocker is currently the most expensive ticket in Cleveland, exceeding Springsteen and Tribe playoffs. I mean, why wouldn’t it! Miley Cyrus performing as herself AND as Hannah Montana!! Can’t wait! Can’t think! Can’t wait!. Can someone get me a pill that will just keep me asleep until the day of the show? I am sooooo serious right now! Rock on, Cleveland!
Oh, This is Government Class, Not Sex Ed!
Use this one in your next zany teen comedy, Hollywood! State Rep. Matthew Barrett was speaking to a government class at a high school in Norwalk, Ohio about civics this week when things got crazy!! Barrett plugged a memory stick into a school computer to bring up a presentation he had created and was greeted with an image of a topless woman! Zing! Barrett immediately removed the stick, at least three boys immediately asked to be excused, and the lesson continued sans presentation. While most students were upset because their civics lesson could no longer be aided by visuals, a tool they had recently discovered was helping their learning process, others were bummed by the lack of boobs in the rest of Barrett’s speech. Barrett claims the photos on the memory stick are not his, and that he received the storage device as a gift. Police are investigating, or at least looking at the pics on the stick.
Posted under Hometown
This post was written by MyFriendCleveland on October 3, 2007
