MyFriendCleveland

Need to Get Rid of Something or Someone? I Got just the Place

As was to be expected, there was plenty of flooding caused by all the recent storms, but who was worrying about sinkholes? In all honesty, not this guy, and probably not you either, so don’t get all scholarly and start explaining how sinkholes form, jerk. Well a 40-foot wide, 20-foot deep sinkhole has formed next to a house in East Cleveland. The hole was a result of a busted drainage pipe that devoured all the wet soil left from the rains. The sinkhole, which seems to be growing, could end up cutting into the foundation of the home next to it, which would be pretty sucky. Luckily the city is, “scrambling to come up with the $200,000 necessary to repair the pipe and fill the hole.” If a major city has to scramble to get $200,000 I might be a little more worried about said city than a sinkhole. Maybe I should try and keep a positive outlook though, much like the man whose house may be devoured by the sinkhole. Dude told Channel 5, “I could always fill it with water and put walleye in it.” If, after adding the walleye, he took 100 shits in it, emptied his garbage for a month there, and then flagged down a medical waste disposal vehicle and had them add their goods to the stew it would be a like a scale version of Lake Erie. I’d be the one to set it on fire.

Remember when Hating Bush was Cool?

Well The Free Times is making sure the torch gets lifted again. Okay, so maybe it was never down with that whole Iraq war thing and all, but Ohio has been fiending for some fuel for the fire, and now they’ve got it. The Free Times has a rather interesting piece concerning the fact that, “in 56 of Ohio’s 88 counties, some or all of the ballots and other elections records from the November 2004 presidential election were missing, lost or destroyed.” This came after a court order that all records be maintained so that strange occurrences, like a county reporting more votes than registered voters, could be checked into. There are plenty more details, most of which should rouse a good, “WTF!?” or two. Let’s get political.

Uh… What?

Phillip Morris (no not the company, silly! the dramatic and often inconclusive Plain Dealer columnist) goes after mayor Frank Jackson in this week’s column. Well sort of… maybe it’s more about abandoned buildings in the city. Actually, I guess it isn’t. I think what it’s really about is how leaders who can cry are popular right now. But, I guess that is really only a couple of lines. Shit, I think what this article is really about is Morris meeting his deadline, cause I can’t even make fun of something that jumps around this much. Plain Dealer goes stream of consciousness.