MyFriendCleveland

Guy Spends Life Preparing for Revolution, Ends Up Dying of Natural Causes

You ever get that feeling that you’re just kind of waiting for something, but you’re kind of nervous that you’re going to die before you ever see it happen? Well now you know what Bob Eye feels like. The 63 year old was found dead in his house, which happened to be stocked with over 100 guns, dynamite, blasting caps, and over 1,000 rounds of ammunition. Quote of the century from the cops here: “One spark and there could have been a big fire on Kingston.” You don’t say.

I Just Saw an Awesome Commercial

Usually I think dating websites are stupid, because they are. I hated that dude from Match.com who would tell me about my personnality analysis, and I hated it even more when Dr. Phil started giving me some “love tips.” Chubby bald dudes with ‘staches have no right to tell me any “love tips.” But on the old television I just saw a commercial for FarmersOnly.com with the tagline “City fold just don’t get it.” No we don’t.

The Message Board Now All Up Newsy

Yesterday a message was posted on our message board (how coincidental) about a video of Ann Coulter calling John Edwards a faggot (That video here). I happened to hear her on the radio today defending herself, saying “That term is just a school-yard taunt, and it has no reference to his sexual preferences.” A charming quote, Ann, but let’s be honest, it’s a school yard taunt because 5-year-old’s don’t know what the word “faggot” means. But you’re all growns up Ann, and you do know what it means. And if it is just a school-yard taunt, you’re pretty much admitting that you have the vocabulary of a 5-year-old, and that your train of thought is also that of a 5-year-old. How embarrassing.
But rather than go on, I’ll let my buddy Hank explain in his letter.

Not Much News, Don’t Really Care

There wasn’t much news today, Cleveland wise. Get hip to the Scooter Libby fiasco if you’re not, but otherwise, we’re pretty slow. We had a rough week being down a staff member, and we’re recovering as best we can. Updates may come in the morning or in the evening, so make sure you check back often. The Scene and Free Times come out today, Wednesday, so that will give me some DYNAMITE material for tomorrow. Thanks for the support. I’m off to eat a burrito.