MyFriendCleveland

Pet People Are Weird

Trust Fund Baby has a whole new slant now that Columbus passed a law allowing people to set up trust funds for their pets. I don’t even have health insurance but some cat is going to be set for life when his owner goes out like a chump. Something just isn’t right about this.

Big Bucks and Bad Names

Two teenage DJs are taking the teen party, school dance, and wedding scene by storm! By charging less, but still putting on a show ($6000 worth of equipment, we are talking enough lights and fog for a Prince video) the teens have made mad money. Now, if only they could work on their names. Beat Master Phil and DJ Smiley combine to make DJ Mania!!!!! I think I just gagged. The only teen I ever knew nicknamed Beat Master got caught jackin’ it in the school bathroom at lunch time. Rock on, brahs.

Being Homeless: Cleveland’s Newest Crime

While Dave Evans may be the only person actually pulling knives on homeless people, it turns out that more people are upset with “aggressive panhandlers.” The law enforcement in Cleveland is giving the down-on-their-luck another kick in the pants by fining and even arresting panhandlers who “get all up in my grill.” Many of these panhandlers, apparantly, aren’t even homeless. And somehow, someone is claiming this violates free speech.

The Christmas Story House Is Open for Business

We’ve all heard about how the house from Christmas story, located in Tremont, was renovating to look like it did in the movie. Well the project is done and you can now go visit the house…. for $5. It’s really great, because now more white people can talk about how hip they are because they’ve been to Tremont, and old dudes can say things like “I lived this movie as a kid.” Really? That’s weird. Most classic movies that stick around for 23 years don’t really hit home with the general public. They are abstract and hard to relate to. Your childhood was typical, dude.