MyFriendCleveland

Smokers Cannot Catch a Break

The elections provided a one, two punch to the gut of smokers in Cleveland, banning smoking in public places and adding a new tax. Well now comes word that people who try to buy cigarettes online will still be taxed. The Ohio Department of Taxation is being provided with names, addresses, and order information by five major online cig sellers. And, as if that big brother shit wasn’t enough, it has also been illegal to buy cigarettes online in Ohio since 2005, meaning you can get slapped with a $1,000 fine by doing so. What has the Marlboro man ever done to you?

Paying to be a Door Mat

Ok, so maybe that is a little misleading, but Westlake is the only place in Northeast Ohio to offer Ashiatsu Oriental Bar therapy. In other words a person lies on a table while the therapist holds onto bars attached to the ceiling and walks barefoot on the person’s back. Shit don’t come cheap either, one hour costs $95. There are so many bad puns that could be used here, but The Plain Dealer already took care of most of them.

Aw, Look, the Little Guy Might Spark Some Controversy!

Michael McIntyre, everyone’s favorite weasel faced Plain Dealer columnist (honestly this guy’s pic still creeps me out with every view. look at that smile. I mean picture this, you came home from work one day and find a person eating your pet rabbit, and then he looks at up at you and smiles, yeah that what is this smile looks like. damn, this a long aside) quotes Dennis Kucinich as saying, “I don’t know how to act in the majority,” said the onetime fringe candidate for president. “I’m going to become a Republican.” What McIntyre fails to do is tell whether or not Kucinich made the comment jokingly, meaning that somebody is going to jump all over him for this. Come on Mikey, it’s time to grow up and be a real reporter.