MyFriendCleveland

Spooktacular!

Ha! Bet you never thought you’d see that word on here, but it’s been my dream for quite some time. It’s Halloween and maybe you aren’t down with the whole costume thing, but do yourself a favor and at least have a drink or eat some twix or some shit. You know, maybe watch a scary movie, laugh like a mad villain, or just cuddle with a pumpkin. Just keep it clean.

We’re Dangerous

Oh, how the accolades keep rolling in! Poorest big city, fast dropping population, and now 7th most dangerous city in the U.S. At least it isn’t just Cleveland this time around, but the whole Midwest that seems to be on a violent upswing (St. Louis took the crown from Camden, NJ). I would say pat yourselves on the back, but instead maybe you should just punch someone else in his or hers.

Another Political Update

The elections are fast approaching and we’ve been trying to keep you all a bit informed, so today we present you with The Plain Dealer’s breakdown of the candidates for governor. They can both talk the turkey, but which one can actually serve it up with all the trimmings? Wow, I think reading The Plain Dealer too much has lowered my standards as a writer. Here’s to third-rate metaphors.

Trumped by Jon Stewart

Damn it! Now that turkey comment looks even worse. The Daily Show is currently broadcasting from Ohio for their special, “Battlefield Ohio: The Daily Show’s Midwest Midterm Midtacular,” and let’s just say their political commentary is probably bringing in a few more laughs than ours. When Taft, Strickland, Blackwell and Ohio’s two senators, Mike DeWine and George Voinovich all refused to appear on the show Stewart responded with, “We wanted to get Ohio politicians. We pretty much asked all of them. Apparently many of them plan to leave office. Or go to prison.” Oh, he’s good, he’s real good.

Can We Please Catch One Break?

This is about fleas, and I was going to make a bad vampire joke seeing as how it’s Halloween and all, but The Plain Dealer beat me to it. The difference is, mine would have been ironic while The Plain Dealer’s was just plain stupid. Get it? Plain Dealer, plain stupid? Whatever, you people probably think Carrot Top is funny. Here’s the thing, fleas are looking for warm bodies cause shit is getting chill, my friends, but get this, the fleas are worse this year. Shit, I am totally starting to itch now.

Let’s Go Over This One More Time

For those of you sitting in the back, passing notes, and daydreaming about Ricky, we are giving you one more chance. Here is a quick breakdown of issues 4 and 5, you know, the smoking ones. If you still don’t get after this seek help elsewhere because we’ve been pretty damn clear.

The Pretty Side of Beer

You know you’ve all done it; selected a tasty brew based strictly on what its tap looked like. Well seems like it is a pretty big trend now, with companies trying to catch your eye and then taint your liver and MSNBC looks no further than Ohio’s own Winking Lizard to dish the dirty. So what if its Monday morning? Have a drink, grandma.

Sensationalism or Hate Crime Helper?

Ohhh, that title is a real eye grabber, eh? The latest issue of The Scene gives a bit of insight into black youth culture in Cleveland when you are gay. The Scene is doing one of three things here; writing an interesting article (don’t laugh), letting homophobes know about a place that is a current “safe house” so they can ruin it, or just trying to grab some attention by using the words “black” and “gay” at the same time. You decide.

Just When You Thought it Couldn’t Get Any Worse…

…The Scene calls Weird Al’s new album beautiful. Go ahead and re-read that first line, cause that’s no typo, honey. I don’t know whether to laugh or scream. At this point should we even be surprised though? I mean this is coming from a paper that gives Mushroomhead, a band that makes Slipknot look like the Beatles, a hell of a lot of coverage. Who knew Weird Al even still had a career?

and tonight at the tower:

Friday, November 3rd!

The Church Halloween show moved to The Tower

October 27th at the Tower Bring a Costume

Hear the music of
Joy Division
The Dickies
Elecric Eels
Minor Threat
and more …………….
Bring your Skulls

JOY DIVISION performed by Self Destruct button
DICKIES performed by Sun God/w Mikey Machine
ELECTRIC EELS performed by Death Sweats
MINOR THREAT performed by The Elves

Take it or Leave it

Bullshit has sidelined the MFC staff today, so we offer you a brief version of the news and if I hear a single one of you complain, I will spit in your face.

Election Results May Be Delayed

Because there are soooo many absentee votes this year, it may take voting officials over a day to count them, meaning that election results will probably be delayed over night. But honestly, can you blame anyone for wanting to get the hell out of Ohio?

More Politics

Issue 18, you know cig tax to benefit arts, is, get this, being debated! Holy shit! Who had any idea people involved in arts and culture smoke! Oh, Plain Dealer you are so insightful.

Church is Okay When it is for Smoking Weed

Temple 420 is making every pothead’s dream come true by using religion as a legal excuse to get high. Read more, I got nothing.

What The Hell Was That?

As many of you probably noticed we were having a wacky little day yesterday. We did attempt to fire off an update while the server was back up, but sadly it was lost when we tried to upload it and the server was back down. It was probably the best update we’ve ever done too and now it is nothing but a myth…

Let’s Get Political

The elections are closing in and we’ve been trying to keep you informed on everything from slot machines and smoking bans to Blackwell’s poor debating techniques and Sam Fulwood’s laughable editorials. Well looks like people outside of Ohio are also taking note of our current political climate. Yahoo news churned out this winner on the difficulties that Republicans face in a state that did them right back in ’04. Shit’s looking bleak for the good ol’ boys of the GOP.

Wow, wow, and WOW!

Jeffrey Lundgren was scheduled to be executed this morning at 10 after his appeal that Ohio’s lethal injection is too cruel did not fly. Still, what is even more disturbing is that the guy started a cult, and then dug a pit in a barn, put a family of five in it, and killed them all because passages in the Bible told him to. Should I even attempt a joke?

Nothing Goes Together Like School and Criminals

We told you a wayssssss back about Eugene Sanders taking over Cleveland schools and revamping that shit all Morgan Freeman in “Lean on Me” style, well maybe we were a bit too hasty. Turns out Sanders is using Ralph Tyler for much of the city’s new school building plans. And the problem? Tyler was buddies with a former mayor, got a lot of work from him, and also helped keep his pockets fat, something the FBI hasn’t been too happy about. After X-Files who ever took the FBI seriously anyway?

Helping the Film $ociety

The Cleveland Film Society has an entire cornucopia (you guys like that fall reference?) of events planned from November through February, too bad they all carry a price tag that could weigh down a pumpkin (ok, I’m pushing it now). I mean $35 to go see “Sideways.” For that price you could buy the DVD and have enough left over to get a case of beer and some snacks, and I am talking some high brow shit too, you know like jalapeno poppers and chex mix. But, hey, maybe you feel like getting a little swanky for one night, so go ahead and treat yourself, you deserve it! No comments

Rare- Land of Buried Treasure performance

Wolf Eyes
Wolf Eyes are a noise band from Ann Arbor, Michigan, USA.
Wolf Eyes began as a solo project of former Nautical Almanac member Nate Young, with Aaron Dilloway joining in 1999, and John Olson in 2000. During this time, the band also briefly relocated to New York City and at one point enlisted Andrew Wilkes-Krier, now known to the public as Andrew W.K.. The group is rumored to have released over 150 recordings in their relatively short lifespan, on labels such as Bulb Records, Troubleman Unlimited, Fusetron, and Sub Pop, as well as on Olson’s American Tapes label, Dilloway’s Hanson Records and, most recently, Mike Connelly’s Gods of Tundra label. Connelly (also of Hair Police) replaced Dilloway on tour in early 2005, due to the latter’s departure for Nepal to make arrangements for his marriage, but Dilloway still records with the original members.
Most Wolf Eyes recordings are self-released, following the DIY tradition of bands such as Smegma. Their first major release was Dread, released on the American Tapes and Hanson Records labels but distributed through Bulb Records. Other major releases include Dead Hills on Troubleman and Burned Mind on Sub Pop. Most Wolf Eyes recordings are released as either lathes, cassettes, or cd-rs.
Wolf Eyes’ first two major tours were with Sonic Youth and Andrew W.K.

Taken last Saturday by Denny:

Lorain Cops: About as Straight as a Drag Queen Convention

First came the big piece on numerous incidents committed by Lorain police, then came the story about a Lorain cop getting jiggy with his stun-gun, well now we’ve got another. Seems that all the cops in Lorain may simply be following the example of their boss. Police Chief Cel Rivera has been receiving thousands of dollars in extra pay since 2001, which he finds nothing wrong with because he asked for it. The problem is that city council had no idea they were still shooting the boss some extra cash, only mayor Craig Foltin did. Something mighty shady is going on here.

Melt Review

That’s right, our message board is no longer the premiere discussion spot for Melt, The Free Times have dealt out their own thoughts on the restaurant. Just reading it made me hungry.

Rock Hall Calling

The Free Times is really stepping it up this week review wise, besides Melt they also offer a description of the newly opened Clash exhibit at the Rock Hall. Also, to kick that shit off Mick Jones, the dude that sang besides Joe Strummer, will be talking at the Rock Hall this Saturday. Go hear his accent, go see some guitars.

Somebody Pour Me a Glass

The Scene’s cover story this week details the rise of the Ohio wine game. Shit’s getting real serious, even defeating California wines in competitions. And here I thought the only thing that grew in Ohio was Walmarts.

We here at MyFriendCleveland are still recovering from last night’s festivities so you will have to find your news elsewhere for the time being. Video of the ever wild and loud-as-all-hell Pissed Jeans will be up shortly and the snarky blurbs will return tomorrow.

Indie’s Not Dead

And Who better to report on this fact than, CNN? It actually ain’t too shabby of an article, giving a bit of insight into what makes art (books, movies, music) indie, name dropping everyone from Pitchfork and Dischord to Wes Anderson and Quentin Tarentino. Get cool.

No Pets = Civil Rights Issue

A landlord in Lake County who denied two possible residents housing because they wanted to bring their “companion animals” is now the subject of a discrimination case. The Civil Rights Commission states that people cannot be discriminated against because of disabilities which now includes animals that are assigned to people for mental health issues. The people who wanted to move in weren’t even real renters; they were testers looking for landlords to prosecute. My dog helps with my vertigo, please don’t hate me.

Oh, Blackwell, You So Crazy!

With his hopes nearly gone Ken Blackwell has decided to play the dirty politics game, but like a shoddy comedian, he can’t even find new material. Instead at the 4th debate with Strickland dude was content to rehash his, “you totally had a sex offender working for you,” argument, one which was dismissed long ago. The best part, he brought this up when asked how to reduce prison populations. Politics: the fine art of inane.

TONIGHT!!!!

I really shouldn’t have to be telling you this again. All I can say is that if you do not go to see Pissed Jeans, Insurrect, Harlem Airshaft, and Vietnam Werewolf (and maybe some other band, this shit is sooo hot everyone is trying to jump on the bill) at Tower 2012 tonight no one wants to hear you complain about how bad you wish you had. FLYER BELOW!!!

PLUS!!! We have a  new review of Joanna Newsome’s Album YS by George!

Your Afternoon Radio Just Got Sleazy

Michael Baisden’s nationally syndicated radio show, “Love, Lust, and Lies” has been added to the smooth R&B of WZAK. Dude, likes to talk to sex; calling out cheaters, doing shows entitled “Pimps in the Pulpit,” and scoffing at guests who suggest that sex is only 10% of a relationship. Kids seem down with the new show, something WZAK hoped for, but church members are upset calling Baisden a black Jerry Springer. Dude seems unfazed though saying, “Don’t let those oldheads fool you. That’s what I call the folks over 40.” Don’t worry, man, they ain’t fooling shit.

Ohio Must Hate Women in Order to Keep Hating Gays

An Ohio amendment that hoped to ban gay marriage back in 2004 said that legal marriage rights could not be given to a couple that are not married. Now a woman strangled by her boyfriend is seeking domestic violence charges, but Ohio doesn’t want to give them to her because that would mean she is “living as a spouse,” a right that gay couples could then also embrace. All I can say is, WTF.

That Poor?

First off, can you please get a new photo, guy? We’ve been making fun of it for months now. And I’m not saying it has to be a good one, I just need some new material to work with. Damn. Okay, moving on…

The Poorest Big City strikes again by laying off volunteers. The Convention and Visitors Bureau of Greater Cleveland have had to let go of their ambassadors until they can determine how to better run their program. This does not bode well.

ANOTHER REMINDER!!!!

In case you have been neglecting the news (shame on you, assholes!) MyFriendCleveland has set up a show at Tower 2012 tomorrow night with the filthy, noisy, punk rock of Pissed Jeans. This shit won’t melt your face, it will smack it around and then vomit on it. So if you are into that (which I really seriously hope none of you are) or you just want to get your rock on with Pennsylvania’s finest, along with three Cleveland bands that actually don’t suck, then come on out. THE FLYER IS BELOW.

Read THIS essay by Demetri. In this essay he lists 8 cover songs that are, in his opinion, far superior to their orignal. This could lead to some interactive fun! Comment with songs that you think are better than the originals! Argue with him! Send us more hate mail, we live for it.

Also, come support a show that features TWO firsts! Vietnam Werewolf‘s first show and the first show put on (rather unsuccessfully) by My Friend Cleveland!

Also, check back for some photos from the afternoon show at SPACES. I should be putting them up later tonight or tomorrow.

WEEDS: Cleveland Style

We got people growing weed in the suburbs!!! The police recently cracked down on a few of them finding about $60,000 of that ill na na. The Plain Dealer details how growers circumvent the high housing costs and even get around electrical bills, but the most important thing this article states is, “Those arrested are Vietnamese. However, Barnhardt said the investigation has not shown a link between the suspects and a growing number of Vietnamese gangs that are moving into the United States from Canada.” Wait, say what? Vietnamese gangs from Canada? Carl Monday should have been all over this shit by now. Wow, that paragraph sticks out like a sore thumb infected with gangrene.

If This Is News Than I’m a Troll

Why troll you ask? I don’t know, okay, sometimes people just say shit. Get off my back already! Seriously, just fucking drop it! I need to start this piece already. Ass.

The Plain Dealer gives us an article entitled, “Bargains in Filene’s Basement.” Seriously. This is not an ad, but an actual article. The piece tells us what Filene’s Basement is and that there is one opening. How much do you think they got paid to do this? Or are there just that many people in the Cleveland area that will be enthralled by reading about a new discount clothing store opening? Either way I’m pissed.

How To Up The Redneck Demographic

In its constant attempt at awesomeness The Scene goes all out with an article on The National Lawnmower Racing Championships. This is no joke, and of course it is held only an hour south of Cleveland. If this article deserves props for anything it is the fact that there is a serious tone used through out. I mean, this is pure mocking material.

That Medicaid Operator Sure has a Sexy Voice

A Columbus Agency’s voicemail has been directing callers to a phone sex line since October 4. The Ohio Department of Job (wink wink) and Family Services (get it?) claims there was a typo in the voice-mail script. Dan Phibbs ruined the party for everyone when he complained after calling for info. Morality is overrated, buddy.

The Scene Talks More Shit Than We Do

We talk trash, but this just nuts! A lengthy (and I mean long, didn’t even have time to finish it folks) article attacks the mayor’s brother Nick Jackson. Starting with, “He’s a dick,” Lisa Rab goes on to detail Jackson’s shitty tactics and plunging rep in Cleveland politics. This guy should be a journalist’s dream come true, I mean quotes like, “I have a good job and a pretty wife, and I don’t intend to lose either one of them. Whoever fucked up this job better unfuck it,” don’t happen everyday, but Rab won’t be fooled by his clever turns of phrase. Talk about muck raking.

Old Grandma Hardcore Is Dead Serious

Out in Mantua is a 70-year-old grandmother who loves her some videogames. She’s been playing, and dropping the F-bomb, for 30 years now and many a person, including MTV where she does game reviews, have taken notice. Shit all started to blow up when her grandson started blogging about it. Ah, the power of the internet, strikes again. Game on, Granny.